Let’s dive into a topic that’s near and dear to my heart: the power of self-talk. Yes, I’m talking about those conversations you’re always having in your head with yourself. Because it actually shapes the way others treat you. I know that sounds crazy. But, I can tell you from personal experience it’s the absolute truth. And, in this post I’m going to share why that is.
So, picture this: You wake up in the morning, and grab your morning coffee, (or tea if you’re like me). You get dress and look at yourself in the mirror and try to find an angle that makes you look, not too awful or try to avoid the mirror altogether. And then it starts, the first thoughts that pop into your head about you are all – well negative. They’re all about you not being “good enough.” You’re too fat or too skinny, your hair is too thin, or curly, or short, you’re not attractive enough, or smart enough or good at whatever it is you want to do – and on and on it goes.
You carry those thoughts with you throughout the day, and guess what? It affects the way you carry yourself, the way you interact with others, and, you guessed it, how others treat you.
Your Self-Talk Reflects How You See Yourself
Our self-talk is like the lens through which we view ourselves, and our place it the world. And it sends signals to the world about how we expect to be treated. If you’re constantly telling yourself that you’re not worthy, not smart enough, not attractive enough, then guess what? You’re sending out an invitation for others to treat you that way. It’s like you’re putting up a sign that says, “Please, don’t take me seriously” or “Feel free to walk all over me.”
In fact it’s so important for you to understand this concept that episode 4 of my The I See You Podcast is all about how “You Teach People How To Treat You” It was something that took me years to understand. But here’s the good news – you have the power to change that narrative. You can flip the script and start using your self-talk to your advantage.
And, I will tell you from my own experience, when you make that change, it will change your whole life.
Here Are 7 Steps That Can Help You Change Your Self-Talk
Positive Affirmations: Okay, I know it might sound a bit cheesy, but positive affirmations can be a game-changer. Start your day by telling yourself something positive like, “I am confident and capable,” or “I am deserving of respect.” Repeat it often, and soon enough, you’ll start to believe And when you believe it, others will too.
Challenge Negative Thoughts: We all have those moments when our inner critic rears its ugly head. When that happens, don’t let those thoughts go unchecked. Challenge them! Ask yourself if they’re really true, and if they’re not, replace them with a more positive and realistic thought.
Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer a friend. We all make mistakes and have flaws – it’s part of being human. Instead of beating yourself up, practice self-compassion and remind yourself that it’s okay to be imperfect.
Set Healthy Boundaries: Your self-talk can also help you set and maintain healthy boundaries. If someone is treating you poorly, remind yourself that you deserve better. Say to yourself, “I won’t allow anyone to disrespect me.” When you believe this, you’ll be more likely to assert yourself and demand the respect you deserve.
Visualize Success: Use the power of visualization to see yourself succeeding and being treated with respect and kindness. When you can see it in your mind, it becomes easier to manifest in reality.
Surround Yourself with Positivity: Pay attention to the people you surround yourself with. Just like a bad cold, mindsets are catching. Negative influences can feed into your negative self-talk. Surround yourself with those who uplift and support you.
Practice Gratitude: Gratitude is a powerful tool for shifting your self-talk. When you focus on the things you’re grateful for, it becomes harder for negative self-talk to take hold. Try keeping a gratitude journal and jotting down three things you’re thankful for each day.
Changing Your Perception Of Yourself is a Game Changer
Now, I’m not saying that changing your self-talk will magically transform every single interaction in your life overnight. People can be complex, and some may not change how they treat you right away. But what will change is your perception of yourself, and that, my friends, is a game-changer.
When you start believing in your worth, when you treat yourself with respect and kindness, and when you set healthy boundaries, you’ll find that others start to treat you in the same way. It’s like a ripple effect – your positive self-talk sends out a signal to the world that you deserve to be treated well, and the universe tends to deliver on that request.
So, let’s all make a pact to be a little kinder to ourselves, to challenge those negative thoughts, and to use the power of self-talk to our advantage. Remember, you’re awesome, and you deserve to be treated that way. Now go out there and show the world how you want to be treated!